Dear Gibson,

I have been a neglectful mother.  The past couple of weeks have been particulary challenging for me personally, and I have not cared for you like I should.  The hardest part of being a mom lately is stepping out of myself and my own trials and showing you the happy mommy that you deserve.  I owe you a sincere apology.  Let me tell you about some of the things that have been weighing on my mind, in hopes that someday these lessons will help you understand me a little bit better.

I have a calling in the church that I love.  But with this calling has come a lot of contention and hurt feelings.  Someone said some very hurtful things to me in a public situation, and my heart was broken.  I have never been so humiliated and broken in all of my life.  My confidence was shaken, I was filled with anger and hurt.  I was consumed with the ins and outs of this situation, and spent more time in hot baths than with you and your sister.  Throughout all of this, I have learned several things. 

1.) We are all human, and all make mistakes.  That being said, we need to be careful in how we speak to people and use constraint, especially when we are angry. 
2.)  Being the bigger person can sometimes make you feel very small.  Doing the right thing is almost always harder than following your first instincts (like telling someone they can just take their you-know-what and shove it)! 
3.)  Forgiveness is easy - forgetting is much more difficult. 
4.)  Your world doesn't have to end just because I felt like mine did.
5.)  The only opinions that matter are mine, my family's, and the Lord's.
6.)  Apologizing when you were the one that was hurt can be very difficult.  But sometimes you have to grease the skids.

The list could go on, but I want you to know that I have been prayerful and humbled.  I hope I can take the lessons I've learned and be a better mother, friend, daughter, sister, and church member.

Thank you for being patient with me.  Thank you for making me smile in spite of myself.  Thank you for being amazing, as you are every day.

I love you.

-Mommy